If you are quiet, not aggressive people, that apparently don’t feel any anger, you most likely are either:
angels (that, being so close to the Creator, do not know human emotions), or repressed angry people.
Anger is innate in human beings just because they’re incarnate. Anger has a metaphysical cause: the soul crashes into matter, finding itself in a physical body that’s tight in every possible way.
What the soul feels is some kind of cosmic anger, caused by the friction between spirit and matter.
It’s a scream of pain that lasts – more or less quitely – a lifetime.
In order to stop feeling this pain, I start working on myself, hoping I can erase those parts I don’t like about myself: ‘I’m too aggressive!’-‘I’m too shy!’-‘I’m depressed!’-‘I’m anxious!’.
We often kid ourselves by saying: ‘Actually I don’t want to get rid of my anger, because I know it’s wrong, I just want to transmute it… transcend it… manage it… observe it…’ but these words hide the desire to erase that aspect, they hide a deep rejection – if not hatred – for that part of myself. The problem is that these parts can’t be expelled, no matter what. They are there because I am there.
What happens is that the self contracts and pushes the emotion on the other side of the self’s boundary, hoping not to be punished by the parents for feeling that emotion.
I therefore see this emotion as “bad”, so, when I observe it, I detach from it and I affirm that it’s not mine, thatt’s my personality – my biological machine – that feels it, but certainly not me that I’m just an observer.
Me (the self) and the feeling split. This may look like a correct work on the self, but it’s actually a rejection that inhibits my emotion. (First level of projection)
If I overdo this rejection, with meditation, self-remembrance, or any other technique, at some point another dissociation will occur: I will stop perceiving the emotion within me, but will be surrounded by people who feel it. So, because of this work on myself – which in this case is repression camouflaged by spiritual work – my biological machine does not feel emotions anymore, but around me I keep seeing people who do: “Poor things, they haven’t started working on themselves yet”. (Second level of projection)
At this point, I could fall more and more into repression, I don’t want to see it so I surround myself with people that don’t feel anger anymore, almost solving the problem because I don’t feel it anymore, and so do my personality and people around … even though it still exists in the world. Anger has so become a global problem, that doesn’t concern me directly, even if at times I still meet angry people. (Third level of projection)
The anger that I push in the shadow – the subconscious world – doesn’t show anymore as anger, but it looks different. If, rather than observing and love my anger I just repress it, then it can surface, for instance, in the shape of fear, depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, or a generalised discomfort that makes me unhappy even though I don’t know why. Depression is nothing but a subconsciously repressed and suffocated rage against the world.
Indeed, a repressed person is, deep inside, very aggressive and self-aggressive.
When I work on myself properly, I recognise that emotion as mine, I love it, accept it, and cuddle it… and consequently I stop identifying myself with it.
But what does DIS-IDENTIFICATION mean? I am identified when I am one thing with the emotion and I
am passively subjected to its violence, therefore I “can’t contain” my anger when it surfaces and I’m being dragged by it.
When I am dis-identified, I let it in consciously, I welcome it in my body and at the same time I possess it, I manage it.
But I am not disidentified when I cut it off! Separating myself from the emotion it’s a pathology. When I connect with it, I love it and recognise it as my shadow, I can see it clearer and it transforms.
If I include it, I transmute it, which means I am not its victim anymore. The expression INCLUDE-AND-TRANSCEND explains it clearly.
But if I try to perceive negative emotions as objects belonging to someone else, this is not transcendence, but pathology.
If I see angry people around me and I don’t FEEL that the anger is only mine, then I am experiencing pathological dissociation… like the rest of the world, after all.
That’s why in the last few years I’ve been restating one concept: reality is within me.
Embracing as mine the emotion that, only apparently, seems to belong to someone else – for “someone else” I mean my own personality – I don’t risk falling into rejection or into the consequent dissociation.
Too much anger can be “channeled” with sport (better if very active like martial arts, boxe, afro dance, etc) or attending workshops to let it out with specific techniques.
Very interesting – and funny too – it’s the film ANGER MANAGEMENT, 2003, with Jack Nicholson who plays a psychotherapist working with a young man (Adam Sandler) with big issues of repressed anger.
A great psychotherapist, expert in “conscience and therapy”, is Ken Wilber, author of The Spectrum of Consciousness and many other interesting books.